Manes and Tales: My Outrageous First Horse Trainer Experience

Welcome to the first Manes and Tales post! I decided that I wanted to make some more story-based content and here’s the first one! I will not be mentioning any names/dates in these stories to keep people/places anonymous. Please enjoy the story and learn from our mistakes!

Manes and Tales thumbnail: rider's view of a bay horse with black mane

Some Backstory

Today I wanted to tell you all about the multiple outrageous events that transpired with the first horse trainer we ever hired for Monarch. We worked with this person when we had recently purchased Monarch from the barn’s lesson program. I promise that everything I say actually happened.

Monarch was the 4th horse we had owned but we were still fairly ignorant when it came to horse training methods and such. I want to say that I am still angry about many of the events I will talk about and that I still apologize to Monarch for what she went through. On that positive note, let’s dive in!

Disclaimer: I now condemn nearly everything that I tell you here. We were ignorant, beginner horse people and did not know how to be better at the time. Hindsight is a cruel judge.

Early Days

When we first hired this person, let’s call her Sarah, I was around 15 years old and was excited to have my own horse (the horses before her had been more shared/adopted). But I knew that Monarch had more issues than the previous horses I had worked with and that we needed help.

Manes and Tales: a very skinny bay horse
Monarch when we first bought her — scrawny lady!

Enter Sarah. Sarah had been working with horses for many years and was mainly a saddleseat rider. Our barn owner recommended her and she was already working with another horse at our barn.

At first, we just took lessons with Sarah. I was still struggling with confidence issues as I had had a serious fall with our first horse years before. Sarah was great in the beginning with helping me trust Monarch more and build a connection.

Sarah was also the one who got us into showing and taught us what we needed to know about showing horses in the lower levels. However, as time went on, things started to change and not for the better.

Hiring Sarah to Train Monarch

After taking some lessons with Sarah, we hired her to train Monarch to be a pleasure horse. We agreed that she would have 2 training rides a week and that we would continue to have weekly lessons as well.

As time went on, we noticed that Sarah was only coming to ride Monarch about once a week. We had a training calendar to show when she rode (for transparency) and she would only check off one day a week.

This is obviously very uncool as we were paying her for twice as many rides as she was doing. I don’t remember her exact excuse but it was pretty lame.

As a result, I wanted to be there for some of the training sessions so that I could see what she was doing. This was mainly out of curiosity and not suspicion. I had dreamed of being a horse trainer and wanted to absorb as much information as I could.

This was the point that I started to realize that things were pretty horrific and not what I expected at all.

Extremely Aggressive Training Style

There is one particular training session that stands out in my mind and I don’t think that I will ever forget. Sarah was riding Monarch in a huge (I mean like an inch thick) solid bar Kimblewick bit with leverage.

Not the exact bit used, but something similar

Monarch was not used to such a bit and was already pretty sensitive to anything in her mouth. When I first started riding her, any tension in her mouth would cause her to stiffen up like a board. She also will “shut down” when she is overstimulated or extremely stressed with her rider. Not ideal for anyone involved.

Anyway, I guess Sarah’s brilliant training solution to this issue was to bit up. On this particular day, Sarah was riding Monarch and Monarch was refusing to move forward. Sarah had been riding very heavy handed in the aforementioned bit and Monarch had shut down.

Sarah was kicking her sides so hard I still remember the grunts and groans Monarch made after each blow. She also had a crop that she was slapping on Monarch’s shoulders and flanks. Monarch still refused to move forward.

Eventually, Sarah pushed Monarch to her limit: she reared up. I’m not talking a “oh my gosh are they going to flip over?” kind of rear either. Just a little hop up out of frustration and confusion.

Apparently, this did not sit well with Sarah as she leapt off of Monarch and began to beat her in the chest and face with the crop. I guess this was supposed to “teach her a lesson”.

At the time, I was horrified but was naïve enough to believe that that is what you were supposed to do. Punishment was always at the forefront of every training philosophy I had experienced at that point in my life.

After that ride, I really started to doubt Sarah’s methods and whether or not she knew what she was talking about. However, since we were ignorant, we continued working with her and basically ignored it.

The Beginning of the End

So, obviously, the previously mentioned incident put a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. But we continued to take lessons and show with Sarah. The next major event that sticks out in my mind is when we were preparing for a show and needed to clip Monarch’s muzzle.

Monarch had never seen clippers (as far as we knew) and was a fairly flighty horse at the time. Instead of slowly introducing the clippers, Sarah grabbed Monarch by the cheekpiece of her halter and began to clip. Monarch, obviously surprised, threw her head and began to back down the aisle.

But did that deter Sarah? Nooooooooo. No. No. No. She continued to wrestle with Monarch and clip her muzzle. When she was done, Monarch was shaking slightly and had multiple bleeding cuts on her nose.

I really hope I said something at this point but I honestly can’t remember. I remember being very upset (obviously) as she had clearly hurt my horse. Once again she shrugged it off as if she did what she had to.

For years after this incident, you could not grab/touch Monarch by the cheek strap without her throwing her head and backing. The smell of the clippers sent her running (literally). Sarah did some serious psychological damage to Monarch here.

We continued to have lessons with Sarah where she would often bring her friend with her. This friend rode at a larger show jumping barn in the area. During lessons Sarah began to ignore me and talk to her friend and was often late (although usually arriving with this same friend).

In nearly all of my lessons, Sarah had me use draw reins to achieve a headset, all the while using a thin single-jointed, twisted wire snaffle. Yeah. Ouchie. So sorry, Monarch.

Manes and Tales: girl riding horse with draw reins
“training”

The Straw That Broke the Horse’s Back

Towards the end of our time working with Sarah, I had began to show an interest in jumping. One day I decided to try and take Monarch over a small jump during one of my personal rides.

Everything went great, Monarch half-heartedly jumped, woohoo! I was ecstatic. I was excited to tell my trainer what I had accomplished. However, when I told Sarah, she shrugged it off and told me she knew Monarch was a good jumper because she had jumped her herself.

What? Excuse me? Apparently, the last training ride that Sarah had done, she had jumped Monarch without our permission. Monarch went lame on her front left leg shortly after this incident. To this day, she occasionally has issues with that leg.

I, of course, was upset and told my mom. My mom, the barn owner, and Sarah had a little discussion in the break room and we tentatively continued working with Sarah.

However, in later weeks, Sarah began to tell me that Monarch would never develop a pleasure headset. That she was incapable of carrying herself correctly and that I should jump her instead.

When I disagreed, she told me that I should sell her if I’m not planning on jumping her. In fact, she told me that her friend (you know the one that I had previously mentioned?), would be interested in buying her. Um, what?

It was at this point that we finally came to the realization that we were not going to get anywhere with Sarah. I don’t remember the exact situation but we stopped taking lessons from her and cut any training ties we had.

A Moment of Reflection

Obviously, I look back on this time with a lot of shame. Monarch went through a lot of horrible stuff and I watched and occasionally took part. I don’t know if horse’s have the capacity for forgiveness but I hope Monarch looks at me in a different light now.

I wouldn’t blame her if she hated me then and to an extent, I’m sure she didn’t like me very much. As I said in the beginning, hindsight is a cruel thing and if I could go back and change things, I would.

However, since that isn’t possible, all I can do is learn from my mistakes and share them with you all to hopefully prevent anyone else from doing what we did. I believe that transparency is very important in this industry.

Remember to be kind to your horses and to always do your research when it comes to looking for a trainer and training itself. You can never know too much.

Monarch in 2022 – what a glow up 🙂

Thank you so much for reading our first installment of Manes and Tales. I hope to do some more of these in the future. I feel it’s important to share past experiences and what can be learned from them.

Let me know if any of the information in this post surprised you! Would you like to see more Manes and Tales posts? I’d love to hear from you.

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